Prelude: Squaresoft, when creating the game, made a tiny flaw - a miniscule error. They programmed in a glitch to the game. A glitch which would manifest itself after the 666th game of New Game +. A glitch which would destroy the world of Chrono Trigger.... Now, the 666th game has come.... Chrono Trigger: The Glitch A Humerous Fan-Fic by The Illogical Joker Chrono awoke to a ray of light burning through his bed. "Aaaah!" he screamed, jumping out of bed into his mother as the flames engulfed his bed. "What the hell?!" "Huh?" asked Chrono's mother in surprise. "Who are you?" "I'm..." said Chrono. Suddenly, he realized the problem - he had no name programmed in. This was highly unusual... without a chance to register a name, nobody would recognize him as Chrono. "Well," he said, "I'm your son, Chrono." "Okay," said Chrono's mother, her simple logic circuts overheating in the humid weather. "What happened to my bed?" asked Chrono. "It's just the random ray of light," said Chrono's mother, dismissing it. "With the random temperature changes, from lightning to snowstorms inside of chimneys..." "Wait," said Chrono, "different weather scenes from different levels are manifesting in random portions of the game?" "It's not a game," said Chrono's mother sadly. "Your kitty drowned in a typhoon manifesting from the kitchen sink." "Well good," said Chrono, "I didn't have the heart to do it myself, but I didn't want to go chasing after you at the end either..." "Right," said Chrono's mother, making a mental note to check the insane asylum later on. "Umm," said Chrono, "aren't you going to tell me that the Millenium Fair is today?" "Today?" asked Chrono's mother. "No, the Fair was yesterday. You went to sleep in the Inn and when you got up, it was tomorrow." "What?!" exclaimed Chrono. "But... sleeping in an Inn doesn't cause time to pass!" "I don't know about that," said Chrono's mom. "Usually when you go to sleep time passes." "There must be a glitch in the game!" said Chrono triumphantly. "Well," said Chrono's mom, "you'd better hurry up and get ready for work." "Work?" asked Chrono meekly. "Yes," she said, "there's chores to be done!" "Never!" yelled Chrono, dashing for the stairs. No sooner had he dashed down than he tripped, spiraling down and hurting himself severly. "Damn!" yelled Chrono in a fit of rage, realizing suddenly that the laws of physics now applied. But Chrono knew who would be able to help him - Lucca would know what would be going on.... Later on that same day.... Chrono came dashing into Lucca's house, throwing open the door. "Aaaah!" yelled Taban, throwing his arms up in the air, imbedding two monkey wrenches in the ceiling. "Chrono," he said in disgust, "what are you doing busting in here at this time of day?" "I didn't think..." "That's right," said Taban, "you didn't think. You youngsters, all over the place, never with any respect for authority or anything like that. Besides, you can't just go into a persons house without knocking! I'll have you arrested for that next time - they're having a 2:1 execution special on Tuesday." "Gee," said Chrono, "I didn't mean to burst a nerve... I just wanted to find Lucca." "Well," said Taban, "she said something about a 'blotch' in a 'gayme', so she, a fully capable womyn mind you, able to take care of herself without male supervision, went off to find Marle and retrieve the pendant, since she never showed up at the time booth tomorrow." "Well," said Chrono, "that's because I didn't show up yesterday." "Yea," said Taban, "poor girl. She was walking back and forth around that bell for the entire time I was there muttering about inconsiderate male fiends." "Gulp," said Chrono. "No," said Taban, "that's Frog's line." Still later that very same day..... "Chrono!" exclaimed Lucca and Marle together as Chrono burst in on their rather inappropriate love-scene. "Aaagh!" yelled Chrono. "Don't tell me that the glitch is affecting you also!" "Umm," said Marle, embarassed, "actually, there was a speck of dust that I was..." "I don't want to hear about it!" said Chrono loudly and angrily. "But we do," said the gossip group of the soldier and maid standing outside the door with their ears primed. "So by all means, continue!" "Look," said Chrono, "just get dressed you two, we have to find a way to get out of this mess." A tad bit later than that point later on in the very same day.... "Right," said Lucca. "Well, my observations so far have shown that the glitch is being caused by robotics." "Robotics?" asked Marle innocently. "Yes," said Lucca, "the programming of the game has been altered on this, the 666th time. We need to retrieve Frog, Robo, Magus, Ayla, and everybody else so that we can set things aright!" "Do we really have to get Frog back?" asked Chrono. "He was a real pain." "But that's not even really the issue," said Lucca. "We need to find a new way to get to the future so that we can find Mother in the robotics faculty and derive the answer from her!" "Wouldn't it," asked Marle, "just be a lot easier if we just asked the guru of time?" "Damn it," said Chrono, "I forgot which one that was..." "Well," said Lucca, "we can't use the pendant for some strange reason - it's not reacting to the time gate." "But," said Chrono, "if we get a fourth person, we can still wind up in the end of time." "If there still is an end of time," said Marle, ominously. "So," said Lucca, "who is our fourth person going to be?" "Can't we just randomly pick a person to take with us?" asked Chrono. "I don't think," said Lucca, "that the mechanics of the game will allow us to work with that." "Hold on!" said Marle. "I've got a brainstorm!" "Impossible," said Lucca, "you'd have to have a brain to do that you silly little girl." "Shhh," said Chrono. "A cat fight is always good, but Tifa and Aeris have you beat. They are 3-D pixels. You are merely-" Chrono was suddenly cut off by two uppercuts by the women in the room. Outside the gossipers chattered away nonstop on the most recent developments and bets were taken by the chef. "In any case," said Marle, "I saw this in a movie one time when we were in the future. You see, we can go through time. So we will go through time and when we get to the Epoch, we'll send it back in time and park it outside on the terrace in 600BC." "Uh.." said Chrono, "but..." "Quiet!" said Marle. "Hold on a minute though," persisted Chrono. "There was a balcony in 600BC, but there isn't on here now!" "Oh..." said Marle as a loud banging represented the Epoch appearing briefly and falling down the five stories to the bottom of the castle. "Well," said Marle, "it should have worked in theory." "I know!" said Lucca. "Robo does the farm sub-plot, remember? So he should still be tending the farm until we go there and reactivate him!" "That'll be the fourth then," said Chrono. "Great deductive work," said the Chancellor, as he stepped into the room, "but it will avail you not. I will now find this robot and reprogram him to mine own specifications!" "Gasp!" said Chrono. "Um," asked Marle, "how do you say 'Gasp'?" "Like this," said Lucca, "'Gasp'". "Actually," said Chrono, "I think it's more like this 'Gasp'." "No," said Chancellor, "it's 'GASP', with an elongated A sound. We studied up on this in the "reactions" section of evil villain school." "But if you are an evil villain," said Marle, "then you must be...." "That's right!" exclaimed the Chancellor as he transformed. "I'm Yakusa MC!" "You're an MC?" asked Chrono. "Only parttime," responded Yakusa MC, "but right now I'm an evil villain! Prepare to..." "You forget," said Chrono, "that we've beaten the game 666 times." "Oh," said Yakusa MC, suddenly remembering this fact. "In that case - "My name is Yakusa, I am flesh and bones, beat me up, and I will bleed." "Catchy tune," said Lucca, "I'll have to remember to use something like that someday!" "Well," said Yakusa MC, "I suppose I have to give you something so that you can continue this pointless adventure, so here's a pair of Ozzie Pants!" "Eeew!" said Marle, throwing the things out the window. "I don't want those.. and they smell like fungus!" "Bye now!" said Yakusa MC, running out through the gossipers, the gamblers, and the chef, eagerly serving them all literal 'eyes scream'. "Now," said Chrono, "it's off to get Robo!" Some time later than the point preceding the point that preceded the point that happened that very same day, only earlier on.... "Now," said Lucca, after a bit of tinkering, "I've redesigned some things about Robo this time, he was pretty dull all those other times." "Such as?" asked Marle. "Well," said Lucca, "he now answers to the name Eevil Kneevil, and he has the personality of Elvis. "Uh-huh!" said Eevil. "That's right on there pretty lady, can I get, uh, a doughnut?" "I like it!" said Marle. "Are those blue suede shoes there darlin'?" asked Eevil. "No," said Marle, "they're Armani - a princess must wear her best. "Uh-huh," said Eevil, "wellsa, howsa about we, uh, go on back and get a go-go girl act going on the go-go, if you get my drift on there, missy." "On second thought," said Marle, "change him back to Robo." "If you insist," said Lucca. " Hello Lucca, Marle, and Chrono, ," said Robo. "Still a few glitches in there," said Lucca, "but I don't suppose it matters. After all, we only need him to cross to the end of time." "Then let's go!" exclaimed Chrono. Still later on in that very same day, the day that was preluding both the three times before it, with the exception of the penultimate and ultimate days which felt excluded and had their points moved elsewhere using timetravel..... "So," said the Guru of Time, "you came to me to find out the answers to the universe?" "No," said Chrono. "Did you come for a slice of the best damn bologna this side of the end of time?" asked the guru hopefully. "No," said Robo. "How about for a scenic view of the afterlife?" asked the guru. "Nope," said Marle. "Hot or cold?" asked the guru. "Look," said Lucca, "this isn't twenty questions. There's a glitch that's affecting all of this game world and we don't know how to stop it!" "Y'know," said the guru, "I was just about to say that too." "It doesn't matter," said Lucca, "just tell me how I can prevent this glitch from taking over the entire game!" "Well," said guru, "you may take this as a shock, but have you considered merely resetting and starting a NEW new game +?" "That's.." said Chrono, "why... that's brilliant!" "After all," said the guru, "if it's only a temporary glitch for the 666th game, then the 667th new game+ should be just fine." " How do we